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The 8 Stages of The Hermit

With all of the activity going on in the Universe right now with Mercury Retrograde, New Moon and Solar Eclipse paired with all of the bullshit happening in our country and its “leaders,” it is no wonder that most people are losing their shit emotionally and energetically right now.

I, myself have had to take some time off from life due to having 3 kitties die on me within 6 months (2 very senior and one a tiny baby kitten of a virus), my back go completely out and feeling the heaviness of everything horrible happening in the country.

Luckily, I make my own schedule at The Healing Woods, and can take ample time off when my world crumbles around me, so I took most of June off in order to really go into the Hermit Cave, and do some real work on me.

It was in this long stay within the Hermit Cave, that I realized all of the different stages of doing a real deep dive into my emotions, my thoughts, my actions and hearing clearly what my body, the Universe and my guides were trying to scream at me through the roaring static of life.

Most people hear the term Hermit, and think of it as very black or white. You’re in the Hermit Cave away from people or you are out and about.

I found that this is not so, if you want to use all of the true power and magic found within that beautiful cave.

These stages came to me while I was writing in my Hermit Cave a few weeks ago, and I would love to share them with you here.

Initial Impact

Some people choose to climb into the hermit cave on their own, but usually life gives us a one way ticket into the depths of pain and emotion via some sort of loss, surprise, illness, accident or other transition in life that does not feel very pleasant.

Sometimes empaths can choose to retreat even though there is nothing really bad happening in their lives per se, but instead they feel the pain of every one else around them and it gets to be too much.

This stage of the Hermit is usually quick, and can be painful.

For me…it was 2 of my cats dying within 3 days of each other and my back immediately going out, which was so painful, all that I could do was lay in one position in bed with pillows between my legs to control the white hot pain radiating through my whole back.

Thus…my trip down the dark twisty cave of my soul to my inner Hermit began…

Numbing Stage

The next stage, is the numbing stage. For me, it was needing to take prescription strength pills in order to put a small dent in the deep pain I was feeling in my back. This stage can also look like emotionally numbing yourself by distracting yourself with things like binge watching Netflix, turning the phone off and hiding from the world, drinking, drugs, sex…anything that numbs you from the initial pain or loss you are feeling whether physically or emotionally.

Within this stage of the Hermit, usually people will retreat from the world…unless it is to go out into the world to meet the person to numb yourself with or find the thing you need to be numb on.

This stage can vary in length depending on the person. Some people, like alcoholics, can be out and about in the world…but emotionally they are in the numbing hermit stage, so even though they may be out at a bar laughing with people…inside they are stuck at the Numbing Stage of The Hermit, and not able to allow themselves to feel the next step of the Hermit…

Emotional Stage


This is where the physical pain can start to wane, and the true emotions that may have been hiding beneath the surface will come out.

For me, it was realizing that my back went out because I needed to stop working and living life 100 miles an hour to truly feel the huge loss I was dealing with my kitties Amma and Saturn dying. Their deaths so close together brought up old trauma and grief from Anika passing just 6 months prior.

All in all, I was swimming in a shit show of grief and emotion, and the waves were of Tsunami proportions.

Most physical pain that our body radiates is rooted in old emotions that were not able to properly be released, so once I was able to stop numbing from the physical pain, I allowed myself to pin point my emotions and where they came from and moved full throttle into the next stage of the cave…

Purging Stage


I am a big believer in crying wherever and whenever I need to.

Tears are the most healing of elixirs and they are Gluten Free, Organic and cost no money!

Purging isn’t always just about tears ei