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Writer's pictureKristin Dwan

The 8 Stages of The Hermit

With all of the activity going on in the Universe right now with Mercury Retrograde, New Moon and Solar Eclipse paired with all of the bullshit happening in our country and its “leaders,” it is no wonder that most people are losing their shit emotionally and energetically right now.

I, myself have had to take some time off from life due to having 3 kitties die on me within 6 months (2 very senior and one a tiny baby kitten of a virus), my back go completely out and feeling the heaviness of everything horrible happening in the country.

Luckily, I make my own schedule at The Healing Woods, and can take ample time off when my world crumbles around me, so I took most of June off in order to really go into the Hermit Cave, and do some real work on me.

It was in this long stay within the Hermit Cave, that I realized all of the different stages of doing a real deep dive into my emotions, my thoughts, my actions and hearing clearly what my body, the Universe and my guides were trying to scream at me through the roaring static of life.

Most people hear the term Hermit, and think of it as very black or white. You’re in the Hermit Cave away from people or you are out and about.

I found that this is not so, if you want to use all of the true power and magic found within that beautiful cave.

These stages came to me while I was writing in my Hermit Cave a few weeks ago, and I would love to share them with you here.

Initial Impact

Some people choose to climb into the hermit cave on their own, but usually life gives us a one way ticket into the depths of pain and emotion via some sort of loss, surprise, illness, accident or other transition in life that does not feel very pleasant.

Sometimes empaths can choose to retreat even though there is nothing really bad happening in their lives per se, but instead they feel the pain of every one else around them and it gets to be too much.

This stage of the Hermit is usually quick, and can be painful.

For me…it was 2 of my cats dying within 3 days of each other and my back immediately going out, which was so painful, all that I could do was lay in one position in bed with pillows between my legs to control the white hot pain radiating through my whole back.

Thus…my trip down the dark twisty cave of my soul to my inner Hermit began…

Numbing Stage

The next stage, is the numbing stage. For me, it was needing to take prescription strength pills in order to put a small dent in the deep pain I was feeling in my back. This stage can also look like emotionally numbing yourself by distracting yourself with things like binge watching Netflix, turning the phone off and hiding from the world, drinking, drugs, sex…anything that numbs you from the initial pain or loss you are feeling whether physically or emotionally.

Within this stage of the Hermit, usually people will retreat from the world…unless it is to go out into the world to meet the person to numb yourself with or find the thing you need to be numb on.

This stage can vary in length depending on the person. Some people, like alcoholics, can be out and about in the world…but emotionally they are in the numbing hermit stage, so even though they may be out at a bar laughing with people…inside they are stuck at the Numbing Stage of The Hermit, and not able to allow themselves to feel the next step of the Hermit…

Emotional Stage


This is where the physical pain can start to wane, and the true emotions that may have been hiding beneath the surface will come out.

For me, it was realizing that my back went out because I needed to stop working and living life 100 miles an hour to truly feel the huge loss I was dealing with my kitties Amma and Saturn dying. Their deaths so close together brought up old trauma and grief from Anika passing just 6 months prior.

All in all, I was swimming in a shit show of grief and emotion, and the waves were of Tsunami proportions.

Most physical pain that our body radiates is rooted in old emotions that were not able to properly be released, so once I was able to stop numbing from the physical pain, I allowed myself to pin point my emotions and where they came from and moved full throttle into the next stage of the cave…

Purging Stage


I am a big believer in crying wherever and whenever I need to.

Tears are the most healing of elixirs and they are Gluten Free, Organic and cost no money!

Purging isn’t always just about tears either. Sometimes it is burning pictures, letters, going through closets and getting out anything that reminds you of a terrible experience…sometimes it can mean quitting something in life and starting something new.

For me, after I purged many tears, I decided to lessen the amount of inflammatories I allowed into my system, so I decided to quit coffee, severely reduce sugar and make the jump from Vegetarian to Vegan, and cut out  all dairy.

This stage can be ongoing, because emotions are like water as they ebb and flow. You may have a huge cry one day and be totally fine the next few days…but if that well of emotion wants to release through your eyes a few days later…let it! It just means you have successfully gotten to a deeper level of release, which is going to allow you more room to receive once you leave the cave.

Once you have allowed the work of purging to heal you…the water and emotions clear to allow you to ascend to the next stage of your trip…

Illumination Stage


This is where the calm of the Hermit Cave really washes over you. This is where you get filled up with ideas, energy and healing within the cave.

There still may be tears within this stage too, but through the tears, the light comes in, and you see the end to your struggles before you.

For me, this stage was filled with much meditation, visioning and writing. I saw my future, and the steps I needed to take to get there. I put out the call to my Ancestors, guides and the Universe from that cave within the solitude of illumination.

They hear you when you pray within tears and stress as well…but you will hear their replies more loudly when you pray within the calm of this stage.

This stage can take as long as you need in order to get clear on your next steps to take once you are out of the cave. For me, I was able to download my path pretty quickly, because I was able to control the flow of work coming in at this point in my journey.

I started at 50% the amount of clients I would usually take when out of the Hermit Cave, because I still wanted to save my energy for working on me in between serving clients.

Now that I found the peace and my game plan…it came time for the next stage…

Emerging Stage


This stage does not end your hermitage…it just allows the world into your life and allows you out into the world to continue the work on yourself.

During this stage I was seeing 100% of my usual clientele, but still saying no to events, parties, gatherings, etc. I was being very picky about what I said yes to, because I knew my time within the cave was coming to a close, and I wanted to make sure I got out of it all that I could.

You are emerging…not completely out. 

Do it in stages…don’t jump from the depths of the deep silent cave into the 405 freeway at rush hour.

Take a Sunday drive down a country road first instead, because once you are finished emerging the next step comes in…

Doing Stage:


Now you are completely out of the cave, and your work outside of it begins.

This is where you research and test all of the ideas you received within the dark womb of the cave.

For me, this was me meeting with long time vegan friends and learning how to be vegan the healthy way. This was fun and allowed me to become closer to these people as we bonded over yummy vegan dinners and cooked together.

I also received a lot of information about my next steps with Baptism By Flame and am actively meeting with other authors to get ideas on how they did book tours, doing interviews about the book, gathering info on publicists and I even fully manifested someone to record me reading my book at Sony Records for trade, so I can get my book on Audible!

These are the gifts that come once you fully emerge from the cave and do the leg work to talk to people and travel the path.

These doors opening are sign posts on your journey to let you know that you are completely and totally on the right path.

The final stage is an important one…and I feel that these last two stages go together…the DOing and BEing…we need both of them to be whole…

Being Stage

Now you have arrived.

You have met people who can help you on the path to what you are seeking…things seem to be going your way…life as you know it is turning out to be much different than it was on the other side of the Hermit Cave.

I am now in this stage, and my body feels strong, healthy, pain free and I am super excited for all of the beautiful doors that seem to be flying open for me the moment I even vision for something in my life.

The Universe abhors a vacuum, so to fill the huge hole Amma, Anika and Saturn left…I now have 2 new kitty lover boys who are 100% healthy, full of life and love for me, and I them. Tommy and George:

The trick here is to not completely forget about the Hermit Cave now that you have emerged.

I am still connecting to my guides and ancestors with daily meditations and still allowing that self care in that my body needs.

I make sure to not schedule myself so tight that my days become just work and sleep.

I schedule in fun time with friends, Nature time, writing time, movement time, creating time and BEing time.

Life is never just black or white…it is full of every color imaginable, which we need to access in order to weave the most beautiful tapestry of ourselves.

I’m excited to be within this stage, and look forward to the beauty I am able to create now that I have fully accessed each and every stage of my Hermitage.

PS – Feel free to make the decision to jump into the hermit cave on your own…it tends to be much easier when we walk in on our free will, rather than have the Universe slam us in there suddenly. 

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