On 4/27/17, I officially married all 3 aspects of myself together (Demonika, Abhayada and Kristin), and it feels amazing.
I had my book launch party for Baptism By Flame – 10 Steps to Ignite Your Light Within in the ballroom of a historic mansion, and close to 200 of my clients and friends from all different aspects of my life converged together to celebrate the birthing of my new book baby.
There were high school friends, old goth scene friends, old music scene friends from when I was in the band, friends I haven’t seen in over a decade, friends who are in my closest circles, business mastermind friends, fellow entrepreneur group friends, my first boyfriend from when I was 15 and tons of beautiful clients…all there to support me in releasing my soul’s journey out to the world in book form.
When I was visioning this event, I knew I wanted to have things going on at the event that symbolize all of the things I love.
I had one of my closest friends doing beautiful henna designs on guests, and another awesome goddess doing palm reading and tarot for everyone present.
I also had a friend as DJ for the night playing music I grew up with and I had a new friend playing guitar for me as I sang for the first time in 5 years on stage, a song that I performed with the band years ago for Amma the Hugging Saint.
You can view the video of the song we performed here.
All aspects of my life were present at the party…just like all aspects of me are written about within the pages of the book.
I was not always the strong woman I am today, filled with life and excited to wake up each day to take on the world. There was a time in my life where I wanted to end it all, an that aspect of me is written about in detail as well.
We all have shadow…our roots are planted within the darkness of the soil in order to grow strength enough to shoot up into the sunlight as a vital plant. I spent my whole teenage and early 20’s underground, and learned a lot about myself in that darkness.
My book speaks of my spiritual journey in life from being born Kristin as a baby, and all of the experiences I had as a child with spirituality and pain. Then it moves onto how I became Demonika in the goth music scene, and used her as my armor. It was Demonika who belted out the words Kristin wrote about love, loss and pain from people in her life. Only thing is Kristin had trouble telling these people how she felt about them, so instead…Demonika released within lyrics and singing on stage what Kristin couldn’t even whisper to some of these people in her life.
Years of being Demonika lead to the releasing of the dark side into the light of meeting Amma the Hugging Saint, and being named Abhayada by her. Abhayada learned how to be silent, quit drinking for a long time, meditate and continued to grow within this new place in the light. Abhayada also started The Healing Woods, and grew the business in the very beginning, as at that time, I wanted to keep Kristin out of it.
Abhayada was the mask of light where Demonika was the mask of dark. Underneath both masks was always Kristin…well hidden within each.
These days, I am feeling much more love for just being Kristin.
For the first time I am using my actual name on social media. I started as Demonika way back when on Myspace and then changed to Abhayada on Facebook. A couple years ago, I became Kristin Dwan again on Facebook…and it felt good to not hide behind a mask of light or dark…to just be me.
During the party, people from all aspects of my life met together to celebrate the book, and at one point, I took a moment to slowly scan the room and see all of my friends from different eras of my life talking and laughing and getting to know one another. I smiled to myself as I saw people laughing and enjoying life at an event I visioned and made happen all on my own as Kristin. Demonika and Abhayada’s friends all coming together to celebrate Kristin.
More importantly…Kristin celebrating Kristin without either persona to hide behind.
The energy in the room was palpable. So many healers and other beautiful souls filling the room. The people who ran the venue kept commenting to me how I attract really good energy and beautiful people to me and how the room felt amazing during the party.
I have to admit that after this night…I know this to be nothing but the truth: We attract what we are…and I am so happy to see the proof in this room that I have become someone really high vibrational with love in order to attract a ballroom full of love that night.
It really is a marriage of all 3 aspects of myself within this book and party.
I literally felt like a bride with my new dress, hair done, professional make up job and so filled with joy from receiving and giving hundreds of hugs throughout the night all from people coming to celebrate me.
If you would like to see more pictures from the fun that night, you can click here for all of the pictures of the celebration…it truly is going to be a night I never forget for the rest of my life as Kristin Dwan.
From Kristin to Demonika to Abhayada and back to Kristin again.
I am so happy to have made the journeys I have had as these very different women…but even more, I am really glad to be home within myself as Kristin now.