Ah…it is here again…the time of ex loves coming to mind…or actually showing up in your inbox or cell phone.
Venus Is the Goddess of partnership…this goes for both Love and business. When a planet is in retrograde, the things in life that planet’s energy helps us with can seem like they are moving through drying cement, and past failures within love and money can come out of the depths of the past to make sure that we really deal with them, see if we really have learned from them, and properly released the emotions around them.
In the past week, I have had one ex try to add me on Facebook, one view my Linked In profile, one other text me and songs that remind me of other lovers have come to say hello during my day to day life.
I am also on the verge of a huge rebirth of my focus on my business…so I am finding myself looking at the foundation of my business and reliving the steps I took on this long windy path from where I began with The Healing Woods over a decade ago, and where I am now.
Some things you may experience during a Venus Retrograde are:
Old Lovers appear out of nowhere.
More focus on quality relationships.
Shaky relationships will need to be dealt with.
Seeing your partners in love and business for exactly who they are…the rose colored glasses fall off.
Clarity on what you want in love.
Cash flow may slow up.
Not a good time to begin a new love relationship or business relationship. (Unless this is with someone you have already started to see for either love or business. If you are continuing the flow of what you have been working on, that is fine. Just be wary of meeting brand new people during this time and going into partnership with them immediately.)
The best thing to do at this time is to take a look back at how love and money have been coming to play in your life.
Currently in life, I personally feel completely at peace and strong within money and work…so I have decided to put my focus for this Venus Retrograde on Love.
Many years ago, I created a way to look at past loves and my patterns that I attract, and I wanted to share it with you, because of the fact that most of the clients I am seeing currently at The Healing Woods are dealing with different stages of love problems be it breaking up, wanting to break up, horrible divorces or being completely closed to love because of past pain.
I was there, and it hurts so much to want to love so badly…but have your heart deaf and mute to your soul’s calling for love because of fear from the past screaming in your head.
The following is a step by step of one of the tools I used as I clawed my way out of the emotional pit of darkness when it came to love. I hope it serves you as well as it has served me through the years.
First Step:
Make a list of all the people you have loved in the past. Even people you were not necessarily in a love relationship with. The heart does not need a title of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” to know deep love for another.
Lord knows I pined away for men in my 20’s for YEARS without telling them out of fear of rejection. These men count too, even if I never even kissed them.
They helped teach me who I want…and who I don’t want…in love.
Second Step:
For each person listed, write the following:
1) A list of positive attributes of this relationship…what you loved about them. Even if the relationship ended horribly and you are riddled in pain and hatred for this person…there was a reason you were attracted to them in the first place. List these out.
2) A list of negative attributes of this relationship….what you did not love about them…what hurt you, and what you do not want to attract to you in your next love.
Example from mine (the name has been changed to protect the guilty)
Robert Smith:
I still accept from The Universe the following traits that Robert had, into my future love:
Told me he loved me first, opened up parts of my body and heart that haven’t ever been touched by another, sensual, caring, deep, intense connection, loved my body and mind, willing to cook with me, there for me in emotional moments, made me feel sexy and worshipped my body, supported my career and art and called me on my shit nicely. Most intense connection spiritually and sexually I have ever felt with a man, when he asked me out the first time he made it clear it was a date, and not just a “hang out” Listened to me deeply and conversation was foreplay.
I hereby release the following traits that Robert had and cut cords to any pain and blockages held within me from attracting these traits:
Unwilling to commit to a relationship of any kind, never knew where I stood with him, disappeared just as things would get deep and real for us, moved geographically far away and unwilling to make time to see me, lived with his parents, workaholic with no money, never gave me any little gifts or tokens of romance just because (I’m not talking diamond rings…a flower picked from a neighbor’s yard would have made me happy), couldn’t see me as anything else in the future besides a deep intense spiritual fuck buddy, lied to me, talked about his exes non stop, addicted to porn, deeply hurt from childhood abuse and ex lovers and hasn’t done the work on himself to free himself from that (this gives me a HUGE amount of compassion for the man…but it was time for me to move on from the emotional roller coaster), emotionally unavailable, triggered my jealousy constantly and never truly appreciated all that I could have been for him.
Do this for everyone on your list…go deep with these. Write down things that really bring up pain and shadow within you…things that still make you cry, things that bring up knots and pain in your solar plexus, things that bring your heart up out of your throat chakra.
Third Step:
Take all of the things on your lists of what you do NOT want to attract to you within your next love, and compile them into one long list.
BURN THE LIST.
Literally…kill it with fire.
It is no longer part of you, and you are walking away from it into what you truly deserve in love.
One added bonus step is to read this list out loud, and get all of those painful things out of your throat chakra…release them out of your body, into the air and watch them be consumed by the flames after.
Fourth Step:
Take all of the things on the list of things you want to bring into your relationship, and create a Vision Statement paragraph using them.
These attributes are all things that you at one point in your life attracted to you within all of these different people. You can focus on attracting these attributes all at once in your next love, knowing full well that you already have it in you to do so, because you already have done it before.
Here is my perfect man using all of the attributes I have attracted to me over the years:
A man who is loving, intelligent, has a great work ethic, but balances it with play and time with me. He helps me with things I need help with as far as technology goes, and teaches me about places in the world I never knew existed. He comes forward and tells me his true feelings, and we trust that we can be fully vulnerable with each other and talk about things that bother us in order to get them out in the open before they become hidden pains within us.
He is magical, spiritual and connected to Nature. He allows me the time I need to work on me, and continue my spiritual growth outside of our relationship. He is there for me as a rock if the immense strength within me ever runs out in a situation. He is funny and makes me laugh like a teenager, he is really good with his hands on me, as well as building things for the house. He is artistic and expressive and we create many things together.
He inspires me and I am his muse…together we go places within our relationship that heals past pains and allows parts of our hearts to open up that have not been used in decades.
He courts me, treats me like a goddess and I in turn treat him like a god. He is sensual and we have the most deeply spiritual and connected sex…he is also explorative in the bedroom, and open to interesting places to go within sexuality. I love his scent, and can’t get it out of my mind. We are physically, emotionally and spiritually connected.
He is my biggest fan, and I am his loudest cheerleader. He is mysterious enough to keep me interested, but open enough to keep me feeling safe within our love. He is ready and open to be in a monogamous, committed and healthy relationship that will move into a live in partnership…but we start slowly and take it step by step in order to build a lasting foundation for our love.
Just re-writing this makes me feel amazing!
I attracted all of that in a list of lovers from my past. I needed to learn all the other lessons of what I DIDN’T want within these same loves as well, so I could be where I am now. Crystal clear on what I want and deserve within love, and not willing to settle for anything less.
I deserve what I desire and I desire only what I deserve.
Happy writing…and please send me your vision statements when you create them, so I can hold space for you to receive exactly what you desire and deserve as well.
Even better…please bring your two lists in for a Reiki session. We can burn the list of what you do not want together, and cut cords to that via Reiki.
Then I can Reiki the list of what you do want to bring into your current and future relationship to your heart, and enlist the help of Universal Light Energy.
Make an appointment:
60 minute session – $150