This past New Year’s Eve I got more specific and focused on my list that I threw into a bonfire than I ever have in my 39 years of life. My intention was to make my 40th year on this planet a gateway to the best times of my life yet.
These past few months have been a game changer for me…in a very peaceful and strong way, instead of growth through drama and pain.
Not sure what switched in me…but something definitely did, and I am doing things for myself that are good for me, like no sugar and no alcohol for over a month now (minus one celebratory glass of wine at a ritual), major focus on writing my book, traveling multiple times a month, building my Healing Woods North practice in Humboldt County, Healing Woods South in Altadena booming with Reiki classes just as I intentioned and this past weekend was the birth of something completely new, made of stardust, Divine Timing, Love and the fulfillment of many of my dreams called The Love Magic Retreat Tour.
One of my closest soul sisters who is a dynamic amazing Love Coach and I were talking by a fire (good things always happen around fire for me) in my living room earlier this winter, and she was telling me of her idea of creating Love Magic Retreats using her coaching and tarot and inviting a hypnotherapist to work with the women as well. I immediately without thinking said, “I want to do Reiki and a Ritual for them, since it is called Love MAGIC Retreat.”
With how busy I am these days, I am not usually one to add on more without really weighing out my ability to give time to it…but there are some times in life where The Universe takes control of your voice, and things fly out of your mouth and heart before the brain has a chance to talk you out of it.
We visioned about what it would look like for me to be part of it, and it was official…the Trifecta of Love was born between a Love Coach, Hypnotherapist and Reiki Master.
My Altar set up for The Love Magic Retreat in Summerland, Ca
For the past few months the wonderful Hypnotherapist and I have been trading services to bond and receive each others’ healing…between this trade, the acupuncture trade I have going weekly, Cupping and massage every other week, long term homeopathy continuing and my eating extremely clean and drinking over a gallon of water a day…I feel better a week shy of 40 than I did in my 20’s.
For 2015, my vision included adding singing and music back into my life, traveling to not only Humboldt…but other cities up and down the coast to do Reiki and Ritual at events, teach more Reiki classes, finish writing “Burned Alive – The Story of a Baptism By Flame” and lose 100 more pounds.
As of the first month of 2015, I have already realized a few of these and the others are well underway:
I have found the perfect musical group for me.
I told The Universe I wanted to sing and have more music in my life…I finally missed it again, after a 2 year break from 12 years of being the booker, promoter, networker and lead singer of a band. (A Full Time job)
I gave The Universe some VERY specific guidelines:
1) The people in the band must be heart centered and spiritual.
2) I want to sing in Sanskrit and chant while playing my hand percussion instruments.
3) I do not want to be the only one doing booking/promoting/networking, etc.
4) Someone in the band has connections to the Music Industry/Music Scene already, so I can just show up and enjoy the art of singing. (Of course I will help book and promote whatever we do, as it is in my bones, soul and blood to share everything I feel passion for…but not having the pressure of being the only one will be nice…and well deserved after 12 years of doing it alone)
5) The music, although spiritual…needs to have an edge. Tribal/Primal type Kirtan influenced stuff…no fluffy bunnies and angel stuff. My voice will not sing to that.
6) I don’t want to have to search it out and go on endless try outs and awkward auditions…this band/group will find me.
7) To never have to play dark clubs again…no more underground clubs in shitty dive bars…instead…outdoor art festivals, yoga events/Baktifest, Joshua Tree Music Fest, Lightning in a Bottle type places.
Could I have been any more specific? Not really. Did I find exactly what I wanted? I found that AND MORE!
I was reading tarot at an event that I have never read at before, and through that event, I met a guy who was there doing a sound bath/drum circle…doing my readings to the beautiful sounds he was creating was wonderful, and I reached out to friend him on Facebook. He then invited me to a Sufi gathering he was having at his house which included a beautiful talk about Sufism, meditation, a delicious vegetarian dinner and a whole room of strangers jamming.
I went to my garage and literally dusted off my bag of hand percussion instruments which hadn’t seen the light of day since my old band’s last show, and arrived to this gathering not knowing at all what I would find…but excited to find it and grateful to be lead there by The Universe.
When we started playing…it came together SO quickly…horn, world instruments, guitars, I passed out my percussion instruments to those who didn’t have an instrument, and we were singing in SANSKRIT!!! After about 2 minutes of singing the melody with everyone else…my soul erupted and started singing like it hadn’t for 2 years. My heart exploded with love and the music being created, and it fell out of my mouth without any thought to what my voice was doing…I let it fly out of me and up to the heavens. Abhayada, the singer was awakened again within me, and belting out the chants as only she can.
The beat became faster and faster, others joined me in singing out and up instead of just keeping the melody. We were all speaking the same musical language, and once the last song was finished, the leader of the group was smiling and laughing, and expressing how this was what he always wanted within music…to be of service within it to The Divine. He later expressed that my voice needs to be heard. Definitely not the first time I’ve heard that, and I am ready for it to be heard again…in the right arena…the light arena.
PS – This guy used to be in the band Korn, has a total edge and understands dark heavy roots that bloom into beautiful flowers of light….as do I. In fact he wrote an awesome book called Mind Over Metal…all about the philosophical and spiritual approach to music mastery…written from a guy who used to be in loud dark bands who found meditation and spirituality.
I shared with him the title for my larger book for release in 2017 or 18 titled “From Goth to God”…and we had a laugh at the similarities between them.
He has a vision for whoever wants to be part of this group to move into actual rehearsals, and using the music industry ties and healing/spiritual network he has to book us at healing fairs and yoga places. Yes. So much YES!
I almost cried when I heard this. I was on such an amazing bliss train leaving his place, that I left half my belongings I brought there. The next week I met with him and his beautiful wife and daughter, and we all had a lovely meal together, and they gave me back all of my stuff I left, and we had wonderful conversations about everything from music, spirituality, travel and practical uses for human sized dolls.
I am so happy and grateful that The Universe heard me WORD FOR WORD and gave me all that I asked for and much more.
This picture was taken when I finished Chapter 5.
I am even more happy and grateful to be singing again…I felt like I was high for a few days after that.
Now the flood gates of artistic expression are open for me…the seal is broken. I am flowing very well on Baptism By Flame, and have no doubt that it will be self published by the end of 2015. In fact, I am doing a reading of part of the book in March…my amazing writing teacher believes so much in my writing, that she is having me as her guest to read with her and a bunch of other published authors in a theatre in Santa Monica! It even awoke my past painting skills, and I bought traveling paint supplies to take with my on my next trip to Humboldt to try to capture some of that beauty around me there.
On my way back from Humboldt, I will be doing Reiki and Ritual in The Bay Area for The Love Magic Retreat, which after the first one, has spread wings and is now flying to multiple cities and States this year, including Joshua Tree, Sedona, San Diego, Ashland/Oregon and Catalina Island.
In February alone, I am spending each weekend in a different place – Santa Barbara, Tucson, Catalina and Ojai…next month is San Diego and a few weeks in Humboldt…and most of these are work based trips. That intention to travel more and work at the same time is flowing beautifully.
With the shift I am experiencing in life, and the total overhaul of energy flowing through me from eating clean, herbal supplements and a gallon of water a day…I have lost 15 pounds since Jan 1st, and it was seriously effortless…for this, I am so happy, grateful, and invite the other 85 pounds to leave just as quickly as these did.
My 40’s will completely and utterly trump the rest of the years I have experienced thus far. I have arrived in peace…and for that, I am so happy and grateful.