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Freedom From My Dragons

I have been completely lagging on blogging, because I have been focused in a very real way on finishing the first draft of my book.

I have also been juggling a busy client schedule, 2 coaching mastermind schedules, even more magical training and swimming 100 laps a day 5 times a week. I am officially in the hermit cave of self work, and it feels amazing.

I am taking a trip up to my favorite beachside hideaway in August to celebrate the 18 year anniversary of the fire, and immersing myself into the Ocean water, getting an amazing seaside massage to pamper this body to honor the burning it took to get me to the place I am as a healer today.

I will also be officially finishing my first draft on 8/23/2016…on my 18th Rebirthday!

This year has been a game changer for me.

I set the intention with my first 2016 private Bullshit Bonfire I did on New Year’s Day in my fireplace, that this is the year of “Shit or Get Off of The Pot.”

I needed to shit or get off of the pot with weight loss, shit or get off of the pot with investing more money than I have ever spent all at once ever in my life into my business by receiving high end coaching on my business, and last but certainly not least…shit or get off of the pot when it comes to actually writing this book I have been trying to write for 18 years now.

Investing in this coaching program stirred up a lot of dragons of fear for me.

For the first time EVER in my adult life, I was debt free. I was $40k+ in debt the years after the fire, and a slave to credit card payments from age 23 until 2011, when I was free and clear from the fire debt, and was so excited to be able to start saving money, and investing into building The Healing Woods up in between my good paying ad agency job.

Little did I know, The Universe had other plans for me, and I lost my job a mere 2 weeks after I paid off that debt. (Divine planning for sure…)

I still was able to build my business…only it was out of pure necessity to eat and pay rent, rather than a thing I did when I could on the side of my day job.

With this Karmic lesson of debt behind me, it was really hard to give over my credit card to make a $10k purchase on this training for my coaching business, but through the tears and feeling as if I wanted to faint, my shaking hands gave over my credit card, and I instantly bought back a status of being $10k in debt once again.

My higher self talked me down from the tree I was in about this debt, and I realized that the debt I fought for almost 2 decades to pay down before was way different than the investment into myself and my business that this mastermind is.

I resisted the urge to ask for a refund out of fear, and The Universe immediately filled up my schedule with Reiki Classes, Coaching Clients and people purchasing my packages that I created with my new coach.

My stretch goal was to pay off the investment by June…but I would settle for paying $1,000 a month, so I would be paid off in time for my Humboldt trip in October.

With the help of The Universe, focus and so many new people being lead to find me via the web…I was able to pay off my whole investment by May, and I am back in the graces of being debt free once again.

I have a pretty close relationship with The Universe these days, and I have a rule that if I see or hear a random word or person’s name at least 3 times…it is totally a sign to show me I am in alignment with the force that creates.

This week has been beautiful in showing me that with the changes I have made this year, I will reach many of the goals I have given myself for 2016.

The word “freedom” keeps coming to me in so many different ways.

Freedom #1:

I was searching around in my backpack a few days ago, and I pretty much know what everything in there is by feel, and I felt something I had never felt before, and pulled it out.

I have no idea where it came from, as it is not mine, but there was a necklace in one of the hidden pockets, and there was a metal tag on the clasp that said, “FREEDOM”…

I smiled at this gift I was given, and loved the word that it brought to me, because I really do feel quite free these days.

I am on a pretty long break from drinking.

I may have a glass of wine here or there, or a margarita or two with Mexican food…but gone are my days of booking social gatherings around going to a bar or frequently having a glass of wine with dinner. In the past 2 months, I think I have had maybe 4 drinks total, and that feels like freedom to me.

I am also free from the block I was having with continuing my weight loss.

I gained weight after a particularly emotional 2014, and then never got back to losing in 2015. I was too busy always saying yes to things, and always running out of time to be physical within hiking, walking or my passion of swimming. I think I might have swam 20 times in the whole year of 2015.

I swim 20 times a month now.

I have finally said no to everyone else, so I can say yes to me, and that feels free.

As a result of this, I am free from 20 pounds and 3 inches around my waist and hips so far.

I have officially gotten to the beautiful stage of people taking a second look at me, and telling me I look smaller.

Freedom #2:

I was at the store buying fresh flowers for the house, and I usually ALWAYS get my favorite Star Gazer Lilies, but something made me pick out roses instead, which I hardly ever do. As I was waiting in line with my purchases, I saw this very random red sticker on the wrapping of the roses which had printed on it what else…but Freedom.

I was at this store after hitting the 100 page mark and just going over 40,000 words for my book, Baptism By Flame – a 10 Step Guide To Harnessing Your Inner Phoenix and after 18 years of struggling to write this book, hitting these numbers felt VERY free.

Now that I have seen this random word twice….I know that I am getting close to a sign. “One more, and it will be official…” I thought as I paid my grocery bill.

Freedom #3:

Tonight I was guided to randomly take a walk while my clothes were drying at the laundromat.

I had just finished swimming my 100 laps for the day, and the night was very balmy and hot with poor air quality thanks to the crazy fires blazing in the area.

I could have easily just sat and read as I waited for my clothes to finish, but something told me to go walking even though it was truly the last thing I wanted to do.

Once I started on my journey, I felt awesome, and as I passed a park, I heard a man in a British accent screaming, “FREEDOM….FREEDOM!!!!!”

I look towards my 3rd official sign from The Universe to see a play happening in the park, and one of the actors is screaming Freedom over and over again.

I smiled to myself as I moved on with my walk, and thought about all of the ways I have freed myself in the past few years.

  1. No more need for a job, as I have successfully built my soul’s work.

  2. No more emotionally unavailable or otherwise broken men.

  3. No more writer’s block.

  4. No more debt.

  5. No more excuses on weight loss.

  6. Saying no to others, so I can say yes to me.

  7. Not saying yes to doing every single event.

  8. Focusing only on Reiki, Tarot and Business Coaching for Healers instead of all of the other things I tried when I was first building my business.

  9. Saying no to new massage clients, because it is not my passion, and sending them to my massage therapist friends in the area.

  10. Falling even more deeply in love with me, even though I am not where I want to be weight wise.

My next steps to freedom are to post videos, which I believe the first one will be this coming week…I just have to work on some lighting issues.

I have been very camera shy as of late because I was not happy with my weight, but I now see that this stupid fear I have is really what is getting in the way of me building up my online business, and having that online business IS my ticket to ultimate freedom.

What is ultimate freedom for me?

Being able to move to a tiny town in the Pacific Northwest of 311 beautiful people surrounded by Redwood forests, epic ocean scenery and silence all within the womb of nature.

Being able to travel wherever I want, whenever I want, and still being able to work wherever I am online with people from all over the world.

Loving myself right where I am on my journey of physical transformation no matter what, and being at peace with the past, no matter what.

I am pretty close on that last one…pretty proud of the dragons I have had to slay through this lifetime.

My sword and shield may be dented and bloody…but that just means they have been used properly, and I am growing to take pride in those beautiful dents which lead to me owning my own FREEDOM.

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