Yearly Gratitude
On this day where a lot of people are running around to wait in lines to fight each other for the chance to buy inanimate objects to fill their homes and lives with, I chose to stay home with my kitty boys and write a list of what I already have in life that I am grateful for.
The more I focus on that which I have to be grateful for…the more I will attract to me to be grateful for, so here I go:
This year, I am thankful for:
Being able to give my two beloved girl kitties Anika and Amma the beautiful release from this life that they deserved here in the comfort of the home we shared together surrounded by the loving environment they felt safe in.
2. Being blessed with giving little baby Saturn some love and purrs for 72 hours before his riddled with illness body gave out on him and he passed away in my arms instead of in a cage at the shelter. It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through, especially days after losing Amma and months after losing Anika, but in hind site I now see what a blessing it was to be able to see him through his short life of 3 months in this mortal coil with love.
3. Having my 2 healthy bouncing baby boy cats Tommy and George move into my home and life. They are just over one year old now, and are completely and utterly in love with each other. They chirp at each other constantly, get in trouble together, chase each other around the house and spoon until they fall asleep together. The energy of 2 boys being in here is definitely different than my 2 girls I had for so long. I am really enjoying the buzz of these 2 babies.
4. Finally making the transition from writer into AUTHOR and publishing my first book, Baptism By Flame – 10 Steps to Ignite Your Light Within.
5. Having over 200 people from all walks of my life come to celebrate the release of my first book. There were people from high school, the goth scene, Ammachi Satsang people, pagan community people, bellydance people, old friends, clients and even people from the media industry that I worked with in the past. A room filled with love and amazing energy. I will NEVER forget that night.
6. Finally feeling complete and at peace as I married together Demonika – my shadow self and goth stage name, Abhayada – my spiritual name given to me by Ammachi and Kristin – who lies in between my shadow self and higher self at that beautiful book release party.
7. My beautiful home in the trees and mountain backdrop of Altadena, where I am lucky enough to welcome an abundance of clients who trust me to do deep dives into their fears, blockages and sorrows in order to free them up to bring in all of the beauty, peace and abundance they desire and deserve.
8. The fact that I not only still remained completely and totally debt free this year, but I was also able to put money into my savings account all year. This is literally the first time in my adult life that I am completely free of debt AND have savings. Feels amazing after being under the shadow of debt my whole adult life.
9. The fact that I am my own boss, and can make my own schedule. I can leave town as often and for however long I choose to and can do what I want, when I want with who I want for however long I want. My time is mine.
10. I am so utterly grateful that I no longer have to work as a retail manager…especially now that the holiday shopping madness has hit. I am also completely grateful that I no longer have to work in the advertising industry either. Both places were their own flavor of hell, and I am relieved to be released of that for good.
11. I am grateful for new friends that I have made this year, as well as the old faithfuls that continue to bless my life. I am also grateful that I made the conscious decision to be more available for friends this year, and all of the fun I’ve had with them. The past few years I have been so focused on building the business and finishing the book that I became a hermit. This year…I decided I needed to say yes more to friends, and I now have some wonderful memories to show for it!
12. I am grateful for my health. Even though I had some huge issues with my back this year, it was actually that pain that lead me to make changes in my life, and for six months I have been vegan and have had hardly any issues with my back at all.
13. I am hugely grateful to my diverse Pagan community which I have reached out to a lot in the past year with Bullshit Bonfires, and have received much love in return. Green Man Store, Pagan Pride LA, Ipso Facto…just to name a few…I have met so many beautiful people and continue to be in awe of how strong we are and how much good we can do in the world when we stand together as a community.
14. I am thankful to allow myself the power of using the word “no” to others in order to say “yes” to me. Also…loving the power of using the word “yes” even when it scares me. Fear is just another word for growth…bring it on, fear.
15. I am grateful for my small but mighty family, and cherish the time I have with them.
16. I am so grateful to my Redwoods tribe in Humboldt, and the cherished time I get to spend with them during my trips there. This past trip was more of a healing trip for me than a working trip, as I was releasing the ashes of my beautiful girl kitties at my favorite tree and my favorite sea cave. I did some work at the spa and got the book out in stores there, but mostly I just cried, communed and stared in wonder at the magical landscapes Humboldt County provides.
17. There is no healing that surpasses an afternoon spent floating in the water of the Ocean past the breaking waves and in the realm of dolphins and seals sharing their beautiful powerful water home with me. I am so grateful to live close enough to the water to make a day trip of it, and vow to get in that water at least twice a month in the warm months, and walk the shores at least once a month during the colder months.
18. I forever am grateful to the wackiness of The Desert and all the weird shit it has lying in wait for me to discover there. Also the amazing healing of The Integratron, the peace and retreat of Joshua Tree Mentalphysics Center , the journeys I have with my sweet Shaman in her magical circus tent on the mountain and the untouched wilderness and open roads of the Joshua Tree National Park.
19. What gets me through the pains and stress of life is my beautiful tribe of fellow healers I trade with. Massage, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, facials, cupping…I am so blessed to know so many amazing healers who help me keep strong, peaceful and focused on my path.
20. I am truly grateful that my car will be completely PAID OFF in a few months, and even more grateful that it has literally NEVER broken down or even had a flat tire the whole time I have had it. Many road trips to Humboldt, different areas of the desert, Arizona, all up and down the coast and not one time has she crapped out. I deserve this after the POS Jetta I suffered through 10 years with…that thing broke down more than it ran. I am super grateful for my beautiful Camry.
It always feels so amazing to list out everything that makes me happy in life.
Too often we focus on what we don’t have, haven’t achieved or what we feel we need to get rid of.
I am also grateful to you for reading this…and I invite you to enjoy making your list to be grateful for…you will be surprised how many things come up once you start the flow of gratitude in your mind instead of focusing on what you feel you lack.