With the ending of 2019 well underway, I would like to pause for a moment and really take stock of how many amazing shifts, people and releases this last year of the decade has given me.
At the end of 2018, I set intentions for 2019 to be my Year of Physical Metamorphosis, and it most certainly has...and once the mental changes happened, the physical changes happened and now I am enjoying the emotional changes that are taking place all around me and within me.
I am so happy and grateful to my Year of Physical Metamorphasis for:
1) Losing ALL of the weight I gained back from the first time I lost weight through juicing. Today I weighed myself and I am officially 3 pounds under where I was when I went through a huge break-up and allowed myself to go down a rabbit hole of emotion and gained back the weight that I had previously lost. Today, I am officially the lightest I've been in my adult life, and I am heading further down the path of weight release for good.
2) Losing 80 pounds this year without dieting. I love that I am losing this weight without being on any sort of diet. Through Hypnotherapy and deep inner work, I have changed my habits and patterns around food and switched food from being a comfort to just being what I go to when I am hungry and need fuel. The foods I choose are healthy and nourishing and I only choose to eat when I am hungry and not when I am emotional. When I am emotional, I choose to release it by writing, talking to someone or taking a walk.
3) Being Cancer Free. I celebrate my body daily for growing in strength and health and know that Cancer came into my life last year to shake me up a bit and get me on the path to Metamorphasis. Since I am strongly on that path, I know Cancer will have no reason to visit me again. This is the new me and my new way of being...not a diet or something I am forcing myself to do, which is why it is working well, quickly and will sustain itself within me.
4) Graduating Hypnotherapy College. This has been a dream of mine for a very long time. Until now, I didn't see it as an option for myself because of finances and the time it would take to go back to school full time while building The Healing Woods. Now that my business has been strongly and sustainably built, I was freed up to be able to take this deep dive into learning about the Subconscious Mind to bring deep healing first to myself, and now I get to help others with this amazing gift of recalibrating the 88% of our minds that can get in the way of what we consciously desire in life. I took a huge leap beginning my Hypnotherapy training the same week I received my Cancer diagnosis, and now that I look back on that time in 2018 when both things fell into my life at the same time, I thank past me for having the guts to stick it out, and allow herself to become the strong as fuck warrior I am today.
5) Traveling across the country to speak about Hypnotherapy to an audience of hundreds. When I was asked to do this, all of my fears came out at once...fear of flying in an airplane, fear of speaking to a large audience that was not filled with people I know or work with already, fear of doing a Hypnotic Journey for the first time with THAT MANY people...all of the fears gave me tons of excuses to say no...maybe next year. Thankfully my Warrior Soul spoke for me and said, "Hell Yes." I can't even explain the power and magic I felt as I took these people on a Hypnotic Journey in a Hotel Ballroom overlooking the waters of Niagara Falls flowing powerfully by, and I felt so much deep love and gratitude for everyone there, those who trusted me to create this magic for their event and especially love and gratitude for myself for saying yes through the fear. This speaking engagement lead to new clients all over the world and another offer to bring my magic to another beautiful healing event in Rhode Island next year.
6) Beginning strength training with a personal trainer. I have never worked with a personal trainer. In my mind, that was something only fit people do, and I just focused on my hiking, walking and swimming. After I lost my first 50 pounds, I decided that I needed to take this to the next level, now that I felt better in my body, and I wanted to work on balance and core strength. I found a trainer who has the same name as my Anika kitty I had until she was 21, and this trainer comes to my house to do sessions with me, which is amazing. It's so funny how our ideas of where we are can be so skewed because I went into this thinking I had no balance and wasn't very strong. Every time I work out with her, she tells me how strong I am and how we need to up the resistance because I am getting through the exercises too easily. Also...my balance is better than I ever believed it to be. I am better than I ever believed myself to be...and getting even better day by day,
7) Transforming my gums. With all of the piercings and tattoos I have had in life (including my tongue in my 20's), you would not think I would be afraid of the dentist...but alas...I have had a huge fear of even just getting cleanings since I was a little kid. I think it has to do with having braces and the pain that came with that at such a young age. Anyhow...I skipped going to the dentist for a few years in 2012, because I just lost my job and didn't have insurance, and didn't want to spend what money I had on cleanings. In 2015 I decided that it was time to go back to the dentist, and though my teeth were very healthy, my gums were very inflamed. They had me on a protocol of coming in every 3 months to get my gums as healthy as they could be. In the beginning of 2019, I decided I didn't want to have to go in so much, so I did hypnosis on myself to desire and ENJOY brushing and flossing 3 times a day, I did Reiki on my gums and switched over to using an electric toothbrush and water pick. This year, we did Xrays of my mouth and my teeth are as healthy as ever, my gums are pink and healthy and I am back to going in every 6 months.
8) Allowing myself to date again. For so long I was shut down because of health problems with the Cancer in 2018 and then healing from the surgery into 2019. I truthfully have really enjoyed the time not wondering about how any man feels about me or where I stand in the relationship, because I am 100% focused on my relationship with me, and really learning to completely fall in love with myself so I can be that much more of an amazing partner to someone in the future. I still have some work to do on that, and am in the middle of doing that work with my Desert Shaman, EMDR Therapy, Hypnotherapy and saying yes to dating again. I am calling into my life a partner, AND I know that I can't go from 0 to 60 with finding him today and jumping into a long term relationship. I need to date around and see what I need to work on within myself based on what comes up within me when I spend time with men. It's easy to work on yourself and heal things when you are being a hermit when it comes to love and not dating. The real work around the heart comes when you are dating and having experiences with others and their hearts and pasts trigger yours.
This brings me to my theme for 2020.
2020 will be The Year of Love.
I will be dating and figuring out who and what I really want and need within a relationship based on who I am TODAY, and flow with the teachings of the heart and soul within all of it.
I will continue my transformative work on my insides now that the outsides are flowing beautifully into the metamorphosis I am focused on.
I am so grateful for all of the support I have gotten through my journey from old friends as well as a couple new friends that have shown themselves to be the bright lights that will help me go even further into owning and becoming the future self I see and feel myself becoming.
I am so filled with love for 2019...I have never had such a deeply healing and powerful year. May 2020 be just as deeply healing and powerful for my heart as 2019 was for my body.