2020 was one of the hardest years for me, and one of the most magickal.
With the global shutdown in March and April, I decided to take that time to really up my spiritual practices, and now have a rock solid morning practice as well as evening practice, and in between I have added in even more ritual and nature time. This has proven to really transform me emotionally and spiritually, and I am riding this wave of Spirit as far as it will take me now.
The first 9 months of 2020 were so healing and transformative for me with my dad quitting drinking after 38 years of being a non stop drunk and the DEEP Inner Child healing that happened as we got to know each other again with Social Distance lunches and even a beach trip for his birthday. He hadn't laid eyes on the Sea for 30 years...I was watching my dad wake up from his drunken haze while my heart was waking up in a very deep way.
Also I was able to pivot The Healing Woods into an all online format, since everything I offer can be received beautifully online, and in most cases people went even deeper within the healing in the comfort and safety of their own bed. I also added in monthly online ritual work on Full Moons and New Moons throughout the year, which grew in attendance and showed me that everyone out there is searching for a closer connection to Spirit in these unknown times and that I love ushering people into the world of hearing signs from The Universe...it is a core passion of mine.
There was a Blue Moon in October, and I truly loved having a group of 10 women with me on an online journey of healing, ritual and magick called Blue Moon Manifestors and am still receiving texts and emails about all of the wonderful things they have manifested that they focused on for that month with me.
I didn't get hit personally with anything COVID related like job loss, illness or the like until October when my 3 months of 2020 beatings began starting with having to drive up and down the whole state of California while it was all on fire, having the Bobcat Wildfire parked in the mountains above my home for a month, my dad having a COVID scare and then finally getting a diagnosis of a hernia, which I will need to have surgery for in the coming years...AFTER the pandemic, of course.
I likened what I was going through to slaying a dragon. 2020 is the dragon and towards the end of the year we felt like, "Well at least it's almost over" and we think it can't get much worse because it is almost dead.
Well...the tail of the dragon is a real thing, and a lot of times once a flying dragon is successfully slain, it still needs to fall from the sky, and the tail end of it can get pretty crazy as it flails through the sky and hits you on the way down.
The tail of the dragon hit me hard this year.
I decided to take 2 weeks off at the end of December to receive healing, completely adjust my work and how I show up in the world, cut ties to pain and disappointments from 2020 (and there were MANY) and to escape to an Inn on the top of a cliff with a huge window overlooking the Sea that our altar stood near with one of my oldest ritual partners and friends to bring in 2021 with magick and advice from The Universe!
The night before my drive up the Coast the most intense thunder, lightning and hail storm I have ever experienced happened in the wee hours of the morning. I went outside with my face turned up to the sky and felt the water and hail pelting me and washing away 2020. There was an amazing smell of pine trees within the wind and I surrendered myself to the Water Elementals asking them to flow me in the direction I am supposed to be in life, because a lot of the things I thought were happening in life for 2020 did not...and instead of trying to swim up stream to what and who I thought was to be...I have completely released that...going limp in the flow of the river to be let out into the Ocean of who I am meant to be.
It gets exhausting swimming up stream...the flow of the river is turning out to be much more enjoyable.
The first day we met...her driving South from The Bay Area and I doing my drive North from LA was a rainstorm and we both had moments with rainbows on our drives to meet at the Inn...that was quite a magickal beginning to an amazing last Full Moon of the year retreat.
Since the weather was so bad, we decided to stay in and journey...feeling every bit of loss, pain and sadness of 2020 while watching the waves below us, the winds make the trees dance around and hear the rain beating against the glass. We spent the whole night in darkness with just a couple of candles lit...watching the window which we named "Painting" because it looked like the gods were constantly creating a living painting for us with the huge amounts of beauty we witnessed through it.
I released hours of tears watching Painting...felt them come from my root chakra and travel energetically up my chakras and out my eyes. Best cry of 2020.
The next morning...the Full Moon, I awoke at dawn and watched the bluing of the black sky with the beautiful red line through the horizon of the Sea, and enjoyed a very clear silent morning sunrise.
We were getting ready to take a 5 mile walk on the beach I call Magick Beach at negative tide to begin our work of receiving signs from The Universe. I am famous for receiving heart rocks in the mountains, beaches, deserts...even in the city...so I had a big collection of heart rocks from all over the place I had collected in the past 5 years, and I was ready to surrender them to The Sea to show The Universe that what I thought was my path in love, healing work...in life...I am surrendering to receive my true calling and what I am supposed to be focused on for 2021.
Also...2020 was SUPPOSED to be my Year of Love. The year where I actively dated men out there until I called to me my King...my partner in love who is ready to be with a Queen.
The beginning of 2020 I was on it...actively dating men and attracting men to me everywhere I went...but then Quarantine definitely killed that, and instead I was left solo quarantining to work even more deeply on myself. I did receive back my childhood King in 2020...my Dad...and for that I am so grateful. It's been 38 years since I have been able to connect with him, and the time we have together is precious and I truly believe our relationship is healing some pretty big rips in my heart that happened with I was 8 years old, and lost him to Demon Alcohol.
For 2021...I am not focused on finding love...I am focused on creating the Ritual Creation Oracle with my artist partner. I downloaded the flow of the deck last year in the Desert on a journey, and wrote out the premise of the deck and the outline of the cards. This is a deck that has never been created before. It is not a tarot deck, nor is it your basic oracle...it is a deck that guides the user on how to create a ritual anywhere they are and for anytime they need one.
The world needs this deck right now, and I am in the prime position to create this deck with my amazing artist friend, and we are both freed up from life right now to create it for the world, and for that I am so grateful.
I am also focused on my own healing...emotionally and physically...so 2021 is my Year of Creating and Healing.
So off to Magick Beach we went to walk miles up the Coast in search of signs and OMG did we get them.
I released tons of small heart rocks to show The Universe that I am ready to surrender what and who I thought was my path in order to bring in what is for my soul's highest good and saw one of the biggest heart rocks...more like a heart boulder near a magickal sea cave as the best place to do just that.
Literally the next step I took, I was presented with a heart made out of driftwood, a butterfly shell and a heart made out of shells as a nod from The Universe saying, "I see you...the transformation is underway."
I was focused on balance as well...wearing a clear quartz earring in one ear and an obsidian in the other. I was trying to find the grey in between...and the two hearts I found were black and white. The shell heart was white and the wood heart was black when wet. Also...2 HUGE dogs ran right up to me...one black and one white.
The next sign was not one...not two...not 10...but 24 seals lounging right near where I released my offerings.
All animals have totem messages for us, and Seal is all about CREATIVITY, inspiration and expressing your creativity. Message CLEARLY received with that one...
The next message was a big beautiful purple starfish who was lounging on a rock right in my path.
This is where the balance and healing comes in, as Starfish is all about finding the BALANCE BETWEEN BLACK AND WHITE and it is also about HEALING of yourself and allowing healing in. Also going with the flow and I also loved that it was purple...the color of the Crown Chakra, and I am using that Chakra a lot these days for my creativity with the deck and other writing I am doing.
All in all that day at Magick Beach showed me so many signs that 2021 is The Year of The Deck and Self Healing, and that 2020 was just an appetizer of The Hermit. 2020 was boot camp for this year where I prioritize my healing and my creativity instead of trying to get it done in between a full life of being out there for everyone else.
After a few days of magick, seaside healing and connection with my sister, I was PUMPED, on fire and ready to get back home to recreate my work, my home and my calendar to usher in this beautiful new year's focus.
On New Year's Eve I spent the whole day and night mind mapping out different portions of my life: The Deck, The Healing Woods, my Home, my health...and saw a definite path appear.
2021 is meant to be a year I spend in communion with Spirit, my Higher Self and people in the world who want to learn more deeply how to hear messages from Spirit and how to interpret them.
The Deck will help with this as well as my new offering of doing monthly Full Moon ritual with people, teaching them how to commune with Spirit, helping them decipher their messages and taking them on healing journeys using Hypnosis and Reiki to help them be in alignment with the magick they yearn to create in their world. If this speaks to you, I would love to have you be a part of Monthly Manifesting Magic
I wish everyone an amazing 2021...may it be filled with magick, healing and all the beauty in life you desire.