The past month has been quite soul shifting, heart clearing and mind fucking…and at times like this it is best for one to hermit away in the cave for a while until the seas have calmed, the raging fire has died down to warm embers, the hurricane has passed and the landslide has finished its destructive trip.
I tend to gravitate to Nature…and not just Nature…but the most desolate off the beaten path, no trail in site along with no humans in site places I can find within Nature.
I have come to terms with the fact that this is not going to help my plight with wanting to bring in love. Being so deep within Nature for so long has brought in so much self realization and self love that I am bursting at the seams to share it with that one man who understands it and is ready for it.
Staying in my beautiful home, seeing clients, doing classes and meditations is not going to bring this man in. Me going out there and finding him however, will.
I am happiest when tucked away within the Redwoods 100 miles away from the nearest city, or 5 miles down the coast of my favorite Northern beach with not a human in sight because I walked further than they want to carry their beach gear or within the healing waters of the Salton Sea surrounded by nothing but salt, open roads, ghost towns and dead fish.
All of these places are amazing and powerful in their own right…and I hear the wisdom of Nature, understand it and have a huge connection to it. I’ve gotten to know Mother Nature as well as I know myself…I need to work on my connection to humans and human nature now.
I have decided that I am going to alchemically create a mixture of getting in the Nature time I so desire and the human time I need to push myself to allow into my life.
In the next few months I will be experiencing what it is to be one person within huge groups of people surrounded by Nature…beautiful lakes, the mountains and a dried up lake bed in the desert. Burning Man, Chumash Indian Pow Wow, Lightning in a Bottle and many other music/art/spiritual camping excursions will be had in the next few months.
I am very excited to have the freedom in my schedule to be able to do this. Little Facebook angels answered my plea for camping gear…and I am paying for the back pack, foam roll, 3 person tent, stove, and sleeping bag with massage/Reiki…paying for my new adventures of the heart using my passion, which of course makes me one lucky girl.
For so long I was only given 2 weeks a year and short weekend trips to have my Nature time because I was in Corporate USA’s cage…so of course I went to the deepest womb of Nature I could find away from humans. I was always around humans…in an office, on stage, in clubs, in school…..but now…I have the alone time I need away from them, so when I go on trips and adventures…I am finally now looking forward to learning lessons within Nature WITH my species all around me.
Maybe I’ll find that special guy out there on one of my trips…searching within and listening to the same Nature Spirits I am.
It sure beats the clubs, bars and waiting for him to come find me and knock on my door.
Speaking of knocking…I am knocking on the door of opportunity in many ways right now in life…life is not the same as it was a month ago at all.
I have expanded on my healing work, and am now working in a beautiful spa bringing Reiki to a larger number of people than I have been able to create around me on my own, I am owning my power more as a woman and not settling for almost what I deserve (even though it was pretty damn close) and I am flowing very freely with a new writing project and new lyrics for new songs the band is creating.
All in all I am within the flow of life…even though to be within the flow can sometimes be very scary as the river can flow through some painful and dark places, and sometimes there are sharp rocks that you may be thrown into when the flow gets intense.
As long as I stay true to who I am, keep my eyes fixed forward on the future and give into the flow…I know that this river will empty out into the Ocean of my desires fulfilled.
I am not playing in the waves of that beautiful Ocean yet…but I can sure hear the waves from here.