My Inner Child Came to Visit

The holidays for the past few years have been showing me traces of my roots…it is quite amazing some of the things that have been unearthed from my mom’s garage and closets:

  1. A map of my grandfather’s boat ride from Czechoslovakia to New York.

  2. A Slovakian Bible from the 1800’s that was my great grandmothers.

  3. My grandparents’ birth certificates.

  4. Countless old pictures of ancestors I knew and those I never knew, but still carry within my bloodline.

This past New Year’s Eve…I was given a glimpse into my Inner Child, by my mom handing over to me all 12 years of my schooling’s report cards.

12 years worth of my Report Cards

12 years worth of my Report Cards

It is as if I am being reminded about who I was as a child through the eyes of these people who wrote on a report card 30 years ago…some of who may not even be alive today.

“Kristin is very perceptive and uses deep insight beyond her years when answering questions.” Mrs. Winkleman – 1st Grade – 1981

As I am reading through the faded memories of my past…it brought up a lot of things that I had forgotten. One of which is the fact that as a child I KNEW what I was supposed to do…and I did it ALL the time…writing.

I wrote short stories, comic strips, poems, notes (and got in trouble for those a lot)…I knew that when I was writing, all was well, because I had control over the writing, when I felt as if I had no control over life at all being a child of Divorce.

Poem I wrote, which got published in the program for my 8th grade graduation

Poem I wrote, which got published in the program for my 8th grade graduation

Kindergarten through 1st grade I was in a Christian School, which even at that age I questioned completely…but the good thing about that school is the fact that they pushed me academically, and so when I arrived on the scene of public School in 2nd grade…I was ahead of the crew.

“Kristin has tested up to another level in reading, and shows great ability in creative writing.” Mrs. Rood – 3rd Grade 1983

I always saw myself as older than the rest of my classmates, and never felt like I belonged in the grade I was in. It didn’t help that I was at least a foot taller than everyone else, and looked a lot older for my age.

There's me...the tallest one there in the top row in the green dress.

There’s me…the tallest one there in the top row in the green dress.

“Kristin has an air of self confidence and awareness which goes very deep for her age.” Mrs. Buntrock – 4th Grade 1984

I remember this teacher well…and it always seemed that Mrs. Buntrock SAW me, when other teachers didn’t.

In my memories I always felt as if she was really hard on me…which she was…but now as an adult reading this 30+ years later, I realize that it was because she saw me that she was hard on me, and for that…I thank her.

“Kristin takes great pride in her creative writing, and it shows.” Mrs.Westrope – 5th Grade 1985

Mrs. Westrope used to catch me writing notes CONSTANTLY…and one day she challenged me to write stories instead of notes, and I would turn them into her daily.

They were about flying rabbits, secret fairylands and living in the Ocean…how I wish I had some of those stories now!

“Kristin needs to socialize less and find a better use for her time after she finishes assignments.” Mrs. Moore – 5th Grade 1985

So this was about the time where I was finishing my work super quickly, and would be bored waiting for the rest of the class to finish, so I would act out and make people laugh who were still trying to finish their work.

This was also around the year my parents got divorced, so there were so many emotions boiling up in me. I figured if I could entertain people and make them laugh, then I was somehow bettering the world.

“Kristin is a delight to have in class, and is showing a deep love for music and singing.” Mrs. Lawrence – 7th Grade 1987

Mrs. Lawrence gave me my very first solo in Show Choir. It was “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” for the Christmas Show that year.

I was SO SCARED…but she believed in me, and I worked with her during lunches while my friends were outside playing tether ball and putting make up on in the bathroom…I was releasing my fears and soul through singing. A release that followed me my whole life.